Sometimes you just have to take a bad day to make life fair. Since last Wednesday I’ve been having pretty good days, I love waking up every morning, seeing the sunrays coming over the mountain and getting ready for another day of life. Honestly every day for nearly a week has been good, and even some great days mixed in there. Last night I went to bed happy, looking forward to today. I had a bunch of stuff to be happy about, dressing up, a dance test, religion class… It was supposed to be great. Then this morning came…. Ugh! Today was not quite the spectacular wonder of happiness that I was expecting, and I’d almost complain about it, but I guess it’s only fair, right? I mean there are children dying in Africa and I can’t take one bad day? Nah, I’ll take this one, I can do that… In fact it’s almost a blessing, a way to remind me that I’m not perfect or invincible. I think there’s a song about that… something about how bleeding lets you know you’re still human. Speaking of songs I think I just want to sing a couple to the world…:
What's a day when it all ends up the same,
and lasts forever?
Can't complain when there's nothing there to blame,
and things can't be better.
Summer evenings, teenage grievings,
got no problem with the life that I've been leading.
No concentration or hesitation,
I can't make time when nothings new,
‘cause waking up is hard to do so...
-Sum 41
If I had a dollar bill for every time I’ve been wrong
Id be a self-made millionaire and you’d still be gone
So hand me down my best dress shoes and my best dress shirt
‘Cause I’m going out in style to cover the hurt…
‘Cause now I’m drunk again
The leads to my end
And I’m scared of myself again….
-Reel Big Fish
On a Sunday go once around,
because when the rides done,
the hopes that you have carried,
they fall out from your hands back to the ground.
Live with that, with that.
They fall out from your hands back to the ground.
Baby live with that, With that.
And the haze clears from your eyes on a Sunday.
Yeah, the haze clears from your eyes on a Sunday.
Learn as the drugs leave.
Learn as you lose it.
You will.
-Jimmy Eat World
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
On the Way Home....
This is a CD that I've listened to a hundred times, not one of my absolute favorites, but one that I have and often gets played for its namesake, Dashboard Confessional. I love their 'early material' on The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most and such, but their middle CD where they took some big changes in their overall sound I never got really into. This of course is the rather notable A Mission, A Mark, A Brand, A Scar which made much of their popularity in the early 2000s. This morning however I idly turned on some music to get ready to and this CD happened to be conveniently located in my CD player already (it's been a dashboard sort of month I guess ;-] ) So as I listened to the music it all of a sudden had a bunch more meaning than I had heard from it. Not just song for song, but the album as a whole is quite the amazing story.
I LOVE the lyrics of all dashboard songs, and these ones are particularly potent, and thier story is so moving. As you listen to the album straight through you are indeed taken on a journey with the singer as he loves, lies, dies, and somehow fights through the sorrow to live and love again.
And as we see, the Dashboard Confessional goes on. That name in and of itself is a wonderful lyrical majesty. The song, “Sharp Hint of New Tears” speaks of driving home, and letting the car “hear my confessions.” Giving the idea that all these songs could be considered as though sung in the car, trying to choke back the sharp hint of these new tears, but being beaten with ease.
If anyone is up for some intense poetry just check here http://www.azlyrics.com/d/dashboard.html under the first three full albums, any of those songs will amaze you with amazingly poetic lyrics.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Hey Wyoming:
Hey Wyoming:
As a child I attended many BYU football games with my grandparents, who while residing in Long Beach, CA, loved BYU football that much that they would buy season tickets. Of course we know a season consists of multiple games, and my grandparents couldn’t go to all the games with just themselves, so naturally we were often the beneficiaries of very loving grandparents, going to the game, eating ice cream, and learning all about the important sport of football. What a impact that has made on my life. I would like to thank Wendol Murray for his love for me, as well as for all the games he took me too, all the plays he explained to me, and for his help, even in my life today. Today as the cougars took the field and the crowd sang the fight song I knew that he was there. I hope you enjoyed the game, I love you grandpa!
UP YOURS!! That’s right, our defense scored more points that your offence today. That’s right, the referees called every penalty in the book… and we still won. BYU dominance is beginning to be established in the MWC. Actually after the fourth quarter I feel more like saying "hey Ref, up yours!" Did you know that there are only 40 possible penalties in the game of football (that’s including ‘using helmet as a weapon’) and I think today, some referee woke up thinking he wanted to call all 40 of them, well you got about 80% of them buddy! But despite of the numerous delays and set backs of the day, BYU once again forced a shutout in LaVell Edwards Stadium. The offence took a little while to get in the groove, but once they were going it was a cake walk to 27 points in the first half (12 of those coming from the defense). Once again BYU was able to play many of their second and third string players in the third and fourth quarters, which still held Wyoming scoreless. GO COUGARS!! Kudos though to the Cowboys, they may not have scored, but they did play a good game, nearly equaling the cougars in rushing yards, 
and actually having more time of possession than the cougars. It’s too bad that they just couldn’t make anything of it. Then in the fourth quarter, QB Dax Crum (sadly, not from Bulgaria) was sacked big time for a fumble, leading to another three points for the cougars. I guess that hit busted his ego more than him because he didn’t come back into the game after that. I guess it’s acceptable, good game Dax, maybe next week you’ll have better luck.
and actually having more time of possession than the cougars. It’s too bad that they just couldn’t make anything of it. Then in the fourth quarter, QB Dax Crum (sadly, not from Bulgaria) was sacked big time for a fumble, leading to another three points for the cougars. I guess that hit busted his ego more than him because he didn’t come back into the game after that. I guess it’s acceptable, good game Dax, maybe next week you’ll have better luck. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
on a different note:
As a child I attended many BYU football games with my grandparents, who while residing in Long Beach, CA, loved BYU football that much that they would buy season tickets. Of course we know a season consists of multiple games, and my grandparents couldn’t go to all the games with just themselves, so naturally we were often the beneficiaries of very loving grandparents, going to the game, eating ice cream, and learning all about the important sport of football. What a impact that has made on my life. I would like to thank Wendol Murray for his love for me, as well as for all the games he took me too, all the plays he explained to me, and for his help, even in my life today. Today as the cougars took the field and the crowd sang the fight song I knew that he was there. I hope you enjoyed the game, I love you grandpa!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
People...? or not two people?
So I recently attended a well hyped sporting event... okay, so it was like the biggest BYU game EVER to a sellout crowd at our humble stadium, and I noticed some interesting things about the behavior of people. Before any BYU secret police read this and try to silence my insolence, please let it be known that I do in fact bleed blue, I am a true cougar fan, and I even stood up for the WHOLE GAME.... (except for the few minutes in the fourth quarter when I nearly threw up...)
So the game is getting close to starting, the stands are nearly full, and here come our BYU cougars out of the locker room.... the cheering and screaming crescendos as the players come running out, bearing the school colors and the flag of 'Tradition'. For the '05 season BYU adopted a new theme for its football program, the new coach wanted to go back to the roots of good BYU football, adorning the old style 'Y' logo and using the tagline, "Tradition, Spirit, Honor" in many of their advertising campaigns. It's been a good thing for them, the team has done well and the merchandise has sold nicely... But back to the game, they all came busting out of the tunnel hyped up to a roaring crowd and waved their banner all over the place. It was a thing of beauty.
Moments later, probably less than a minute after they roar had subdued, it was announced that the UCLA Bruins were now taking the field. Now if any of you know anything about college football, UCLA is a team to be respected. In the past twenty years they've only had five losing seasons. They hold a NCAA record for eight straight bowl victories. They have produced multiple NFL greats including hall of famer Troy Aikman. It's true that the past year has unnaturally pushed UCLA and BYU into an odd rivalry with the Bruin's regular season win last year at this same game, and then in the Las Vegas Bowl losing to the Cougars over a PAT... I'll admit there was a bit of rivalry felt going into the game, but what I heard as UCLA took the field saddened my heart. BOOOOO BOOOOO!!!! The crowed actually Boo-ed them, can you believe that!?!? I don't think we even got BOO-ed when BYU took the field at Husky Stadium last week, and here we are, loving, kind christians, demeaning our fellowman, and what for? nothing! nothing at all! Perhaps had they shown some hostility or said something unkind, but no, they hadn't. Our loyal blue bleeding fans couldn't allow that slightly lighter blue to taint their raging veins. (that reminds me of M:I 3, when the bad-guy says he'd bleed on the flag to make sure the stripes stay red.. when he is the one screwing them over.)
Truth be told, this un-sportsmen like conduct was short lived. I think those 'boo-ing' were soon hushed by their close companions who actually had a conscience. Eventually the game began and not a person in the crowd were ready for what was about to happen, and if they had, perhaps their reaction would have been different. In fact the intense rivalry continued for quite some time. Near the beginning of the game there was a UCLA pass that the wide receiver grabbed, bobbled, and caught just as he was landing out of bounds. The crowed was outraged to see the referee indicate that it was a fair catch and counted for UCLA first down. People were once again boo-ing and calling for a review of the play. It wasn't more than twenty minutes later when almost the same thing happened to a BYU wide receiver. He barley caught it barley in-bounds, but of course there were no calls for a review of the play. There wasn't anyone there to complain that he was practically out of bounds when it was caught, and play went straight on.
As the game waned sour for the Bruins the jeering from the crowd became less and less, but it was still into the end of the second quarter with a 35-0 BYU lead that the crowed was still overly upset at the referees giving penalties to BYU. Some people just couldn't conceive that UCLA should be given any respect at all. For me it was about the time that their field goal was blocked, retrieved, and gave way to another seven of BYU's points that I actually started feeling bad for them (regardless of what the crowd was doing). The BYU offence simply played flawlessly. The defense was rock solid. The home crowd was supportive and deafening at times, roaring for the D, and hushed in awe for offence. It was truly an amazing game, and yet it struck me odd that into the last quarter when BYU started to play it's second and third string players and UCLA still was not able to produce any points, nor stop the cougars from driving the painful score even higher. In the end, it was just a tough game for UCLA, and I think that those 'boo-ers' at the start of the game just may feel stupid for their childish act. Perhaps so... perhaps not. I for one hope that UCLA is able to recuperate and have a winning season despite this devastating loss.
My one other consolation for this game came from a KSL new slideshow from KSL.com (this is their picture). After UCLA had lost a TD to a fumble they started off the drive with a kickoff return of about thirty yards only to end in tragedy as fullback Trevor went head over heels into a tackle and upon finding himself on his head dropped the football, which BYU recovered and made quick work bringing it back to the end zone. The good part here was this picture, even after having fumbled, and amid the joyful cries of the BYU defense Trevor was not left alone, but helped up by none other than a BYU lineman. Well, thanks whoever that was. You're a hero in my book.
So the game is getting close to starting, the stands are nearly full, and here come our BYU cougars out of the locker room.... the cheering and screaming crescendos as the players come running out, bearing the school colors and the flag of 'Tradition'. For the '05 season BYU adopted a new theme for its football program, the new coach wanted to go back to the roots of good BYU football, adorning the old style 'Y' logo and using the tagline, "Tradition, Spirit, Honor" in many of their advertising campaigns. It's been a good thing for them, the team has done well and the merchandise has sold nicely... But back to the game, they all came busting out of the tunnel hyped up to a roaring crowd and waved their banner all over the place. It was a thing of beauty.Moments later, probably less than a minute after they roar had subdued, it was announced that the UCLA Bruins were now taking the field. Now if any of you know anything about college football, UCLA is a team to be respected. In the past twenty years they've only had five losing seasons. They hold a NCAA record for eight straight bowl victories. They have produced multiple NFL greats including hall of famer Troy Aikman. It's true that the past year has unnaturally pushed UCLA and BYU into an odd rivalry with the Bruin's regular season win last year at this same game, and then in the Las Vegas Bowl losing to the Cougars over a PAT... I'll admit there was a bit of rivalry felt going into the game, but what I heard as UCLA took the field saddened my heart. BOOOOO BOOOOO!!!! The crowed actually Boo-ed them, can you believe that!?!? I don't think we even got BOO-ed when BYU took the field at Husky Stadium last week, and here we are, loving, kind christians, demeaning our fellowman, and what for? nothing! nothing at all! Perhaps had they shown some hostility or said something unkind, but no, they hadn't. Our loyal blue bleeding fans couldn't allow that slightly lighter blue to taint their raging veins. (that reminds me of M:I 3, when the bad-guy says he'd bleed on the flag to make sure the stripes stay red.. when he is the one screwing them over.)
Truth be told, this un-sportsmen like conduct was short lived. I think those 'boo-ing' were soon hushed by their close companions who actually had a conscience. Eventually the game began and not a person in the crowd were ready for what was about to happen, and if they had, perhaps their reaction would have been different. In fact the intense rivalry continued for quite some time. Near the beginning of the game there was a UCLA pass that the wide receiver grabbed, bobbled, and caught just as he was landing out of bounds. The crowed was outraged to see the referee indicate that it was a fair catch and counted for UCLA first down. People were once again boo-ing and calling for a review of the play. It wasn't more than twenty minutes later when almost the same thing happened to a BYU wide receiver. He barley caught it barley in-bounds, but of course there were no calls for a review of the play. There wasn't anyone there to complain that he was practically out of bounds when it was caught, and play went straight on.
As the game waned sour for the Bruins the jeering from the crowd became less and less, but it was still into the end of the second quarter with a 35-0 BYU lead that the crowed was still overly upset at the referees giving penalties to BYU. Some people just couldn't conceive that UCLA should be given any respect at all. For me it was about the time that their field goal was blocked, retrieved, and gave way to another seven of BYU's points that I actually started feeling bad for them (regardless of what the crowd was doing). The BYU offence simply played flawlessly. The defense was rock solid. The home crowd was supportive and deafening at times, roaring for the D, and hushed in awe for offence. It was truly an amazing game, and yet it struck me odd that into the last quarter when BYU started to play it's second and third string players and UCLA still was not able to produce any points, nor stop the cougars from driving the painful score even higher. In the end, it was just a tough game for UCLA, and I think that those 'boo-ers' at the start of the game just may feel stupid for their childish act. Perhaps so... perhaps not. I for one hope that UCLA is able to recuperate and have a winning season despite this devastating loss.
My one other consolation for this game came from a KSL new slideshow from KSL.com (this is their picture). After UCLA had lost a TD to a fumble they started off the drive with a kickoff return of about thirty yards only to end in tragedy as fullback Trevor went head over heels into a tackle and upon finding himself on his head dropped the football, which BYU recovered and made quick work bringing it back to the end zone. The good part here was this picture, even after having fumbled, and amid the joyful cries of the BYU defense Trevor was not left alone, but helped up by none other than a BYU lineman. Well, thanks whoever that was. You're a hero in my book.
The German Roller Coaster Ride
Okay, first off, if anyone can name the movie from whence I stole this title, I love you (hint: I replaced 'Hawaiian' for 'German')
So I decided I need a blog, but I'm to lazy to actually start one since I don't currently have a personal computer and I know that if I were to start it now, I'd probably stop being up dated within a couple of weeks, if not days. But I do like the opportunity to sit here and write nonsense about life, with or without the hope that anyone may or may not read this.... (captain ambiguity strikes again!)
So as far as this roller coaster goes, it was more like bungee jumping, or actually, better yet, paddle ball. you know when you have the rubber ball on the elastic string and you bounce it off the paddle.... I've had a couple of days the felt like that. First it was absolutely amazing and wonderful, then it was crappy, then it was totally awesome, then I had this really great plan that started falling apart, and as I pieced it back together and started to be happy with the piecing... it was destroyed again. Upon trying to reassemble, it was reconstructed quite differently, but turned out quite nice. Of course during the execution of the plan there were some ups and down, ending on a really deep low, an insanely ridiculous high, and then me laughing, by myself, at nothing in particular, just laughing, for at least a minute, then I nearly cried. As I wandered from my car (which was parked at the furthest end of the parking lot, away from my apartment) I wondered and prayed and could've cried, but I gave up on thinking and went to sleep.
The next day started pretty flat, but later turned up and down like crazy again. First being stressfully strained to a worrisome cringe, then exuberantly exploding with joy. Shortly thereafter that leveled off again, dropped out the bottom and floated back up to goodness land. My feelings of happiness then took about five hours to slowly, slowly wear down till I was quite depressed, and yet again surprised that I could have so many feelings. In the end some chocolate milk and a phone call to one of the most amazing people I know saved me enough to live on.
So this may perhaps be the most random and meaningless note ever written, and that's probably true. But it feels good to write.
All this roller coaster goodness is now quite beyond me now... It's like when you're at Knots Berry Farm ridding the Boomerang. It's a wicked crazy twisting ride that takes like ten seconds... then as you come to rest, you go through it all again backwards, which of course prepares you quite well to spill your guts. Assuming you're still alive, you walk away feeling better and better every second. You look back and say, heck, I'd do that again! forgetting the intense nausea that nearly killed you. And as they say, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That's why we can look back and be glad it happened.
So to end, I'll offer another 'mikes heart' to anyone who can get this quote "...drops us like a new born giraffe...' (*descending whistling sound, ending in a lip/tounge pftpthppttsphphpstb*). (for those of you who know the movie "Hook," that's where the sound comes from (bangarang Rufio) but the quote is something else) :D
So I decided I need a blog, but I'm to lazy to actually start one since I don't currently have a personal computer and I know that if I were to start it now, I'd probably stop being up dated within a couple of weeks, if not days. But I do like the opportunity to sit here and write nonsense about life, with or without the hope that anyone may or may not read this.... (captain ambiguity strikes again!)
So as far as this roller coaster goes, it was more like bungee jumping, or actually, better yet, paddle ball. you know when you have the rubber ball on the elastic string and you bounce it off the paddle.... I've had a couple of days the felt like that. First it was absolutely amazing and wonderful, then it was crappy, then it was totally awesome, then I had this really great plan that started falling apart, and as I pieced it back together and started to be happy with the piecing... it was destroyed again. Upon trying to reassemble, it was reconstructed quite differently, but turned out quite nice. Of course during the execution of the plan there were some ups and down, ending on a really deep low, an insanely ridiculous high, and then me laughing, by myself, at nothing in particular, just laughing, for at least a minute, then I nearly cried. As I wandered from my car (which was parked at the furthest end of the parking lot, away from my apartment) I wondered and prayed and could've cried, but I gave up on thinking and went to sleep.
The next day started pretty flat, but later turned up and down like crazy again. First being stressfully strained to a worrisome cringe, then exuberantly exploding with joy. Shortly thereafter that leveled off again, dropped out the bottom and floated back up to goodness land. My feelings of happiness then took about five hours to slowly, slowly wear down till I was quite depressed, and yet again surprised that I could have so many feelings. In the end some chocolate milk and a phone call to one of the most amazing people I know saved me enough to live on.
So this may perhaps be the most random and meaningless note ever written, and that's probably true. But it feels good to write.
All this roller coaster goodness is now quite beyond me now... It's like when you're at Knots Berry Farm ridding the Boomerang. It's a wicked crazy twisting ride that takes like ten seconds... then as you come to rest, you go through it all again backwards, which of course prepares you quite well to spill your guts. Assuming you're still alive, you walk away feeling better and better every second. You look back and say, heck, I'd do that again! forgetting the intense nausea that nearly killed you. And as they say, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That's why we can look back and be glad it happened.
So to end, I'll offer another 'mikes heart' to anyone who can get this quote "...drops us like a new born giraffe...' (*descending whistling sound, ending in a lip/tounge pftpthppttsphphpstb*). (for those of you who know the movie "Hook," that's where the sound comes from (bangarang Rufio) but the quote is something else) :D
Go World
Maybe it's not where an athlete's from
that makes us root for them
Maybe it's not the flag on their back
or the anthem that we hear when they win
that makes us cheer
Maybe it's simply that they are human.
And we are human.
And when they succeed,
we succeed.
GO WORLD
I don't know about anybody else, but I LOVE this advertising campaign. I really could care less for visa, but the ideas they're portraying here in 'Go World' is just amazing, and I really love it.. times four.
In our family, when it is getting close to our birthday we post a small 'wish list' of thing that we'd like to get, and for as long as I can remember my Dad has always asked for 'World Peace' or 'Love at Home' and I kinda thought it was silly. Now, however, I kinda get it.... May we all pray for our world, a little more often.
that makes us root for them
Maybe it's not the flag on their back
or the anthem that we hear when they win
that makes us cheer
Maybe it's simply that they are human.
And we are human.
And when they succeed,
we succeed.
GO WORLD
I don't know about anybody else, but I LOVE this advertising campaign. I really could care less for visa, but the ideas they're portraying here in 'Go World' is just amazing, and I really love it.. times four.
In our family, when it is getting close to our birthday we post a small 'wish list' of thing that we'd like to get, and for as long as I can remember my Dad has always asked for 'World Peace' or 'Love at Home' and I kinda thought it was silly. Now, however, I kinda get it.... May we all pray for our world, a little more often.
This is the start, of something new....
Oh my gosh, I'm doing it. Everyone please stand and applaud before I puke my guts out. I can hardly beleive that I'm actually starting a blog... Isn't it funny how people rub off on you in the strangest ways. I've met enough bloggers that I couldn't help myself, so here I am! Ahhh! I don't actually like to talk that much, nor am I much of a writer, and heck, with school keeping me so busy all the time I doubt I'll ever get much on here more than a sentence or two... but I feel like I'm ready to make that commitment and make an honest effort to make this bogg of somwhat meaning-ful-ness-ish...... :] Okay, so by way of introduction my name is Michael Murray, I'm a sophomore at Brigham Young University in Provo, UT. I grew up in a small town called Payson, UT althought I currently go home to my family in an even smaller town in Washington called Anacortes. I love the ocean, I love music, I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ as revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith, I also love learning; these things put together are pretty much why I'm here at BYU studying. So I like to think a lot, and I'm excited to see how this all works out... thanks for reading.
ps.. the following two posts are just copied from my facebook notes... I thought I might want to have them on here too.
ps.. the following two posts are just copied from my facebook notes... I thought I might want to have them on here too.
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