The Storm Maker says it ain't so bad...

A most explosive evening of emotions occurred just two days ago. It's taken me this long to find the time to write about it, life's been busy, and I'm afraid it's only going to get worse. After spending the best holiday weekend (Valentines on Saturday and Presidents on Monday) in Las Vegas with some of my best friends (including my roommate, Chris and my the girl I've been dating, Lyndsi), we came home to a busy schedule of school work. To add to the stress and drama of life, Lyndsi decided to tell me that she could no longer date me. And for the first time in three years, I was so overwhelmed I cried. In case she ever reads this, I want to note (again) that she was right, it needed to end now (possibly earlier) heck, maybe it shouldn't have even started... but that's okay. We've both had more fun that we could have ever asked for.

I seem to be taking it rather well, as opposed to the only other time I've broken up like this, I'm not constantly hungry, I actually did get some sleep the past two nights, and I also didn't have the best day ever yesterday (previously my breakup was followed by a week of the best days imaginable). Another oddity is the feeling I've had, though devastated there is something else thats keeping me afloat, one more reason I feel confident that this was supposed to happen. At one point yesterday I noticed to myself that I felt like a 'dead man walking' dead on the inside, but somehow carrying through all that I needed to accomplish. In talking to myself I've started to refer to myself as 'Elder Murray' again.... not sure why. Sadly this post does not have a final conclusion (interesting that I can hardly write something without mentally creating an introduction, body, and conclusion) but the situation itself hasn't yet resolved so I just don't know, and quoting myself from what I said over and over again to my roommates tuesday night, "I just don't know."

I think I have the most biased dance teacher ever.  If I didn't love dancing so much I would totally drop that, I'm nigh unto offended by her ignorance.  She always gives reasons for what you should and shouldn't do while dancing, which is good, but I'm under the impression that she's going about it all wrong.  I would guess that an appropriate reason would sound something like, "This is the technique that has been developed etc, etc." or "keeping you hands like this helps your posture stay raised and it is the proper way to dance."  In fact I think the reason that "it's the proper way to dance" is reason enough, it's like english grammar, you just do it right!  My teacher however has decided to give us better reasons for certain dance moves.  Some of which include, "because, well.. that would just look dumb" and "... and guys don't do that because it looks really femmy, and you don't want to be femmy" or "... it would look like you were trying to eat your lady..."   ok, first of all, who even says that!?!  And what if I want to be femmy? okay, so I may not be of that crowd but there sure are guys who enjoy looking feminine, what about them?  can they dance like that?  And who made her the authority on 'coolness' and 'looking dumb'?  ......... sigh   I just don't like the way she words her excuses.  She's usually right about what should and shouldn't be done (although a lot of it is just pointing out the already obvious), but like I said, if I cared a little less about the class I might state a protest during class and demand some better excuses.  

Shine your shoes, wipe your... face

I hate walking on grass.  It's been come serious issue in my mind recently because every time someone walks on the grass it gets all muddy and gross because of the melting snow, which results in all the nearby snow turning brown as well...   blech.

Today I was walking home from school with a friend and as we neared the corner of the stadium parking lot (where we then take a right turn along the stadium to go home) I could tell that she was going to cut across the grass instead of staying on the pavement.  I didn't want to be super awkward and walk all the way to the corner since we were engaged in conversation, so I just gritted my teeth and went on the grass.  I'll admit it wasn't the worst thing that could've happened to me today, but it was pretty sad, sad enough that next time I just might suffer the strange looks and stay off the public grass.  

Another note on pet-peeves, have you ever gone to visit a professor a his/her stated 'office hours' and he/she isn't even there!  I think that of the few times I've gone to visit a professor durring their office hours 90% of the time they haven't been there.  This morning I went to two professors, neither of which was in their office at the appointed time, I even tried back a half hour later and there still wasn't anyone there.  It might be understandable that they were both out for half an hour except that they only have one hour of in office time, being out more than half of it is pretty much not showing up at all.  It was a disappointing experience, but I'm trying to get past it...