I'm a Mormon.

Monday, October 12, 2009

These feelings I'm feeling

Since beginning my last post I have struggled with defining how I feel about people I know not of my faith. I have given it much thought, and explored my feelings deeply. I have several friends who are not 'mormon,' and I took into account experiences with all of them that allowed me to develop my ideas here. I will try to be very generic in this analysis, but hopefully you can all still understand what I'm trying to say.

First of all, I do not think that this is a feeling that is possessed solely by me, I think this same feeling is experienced by people all over the world, any one person with a good friend, with said friend making decisions contrary to what said person thinks is "right." People are often afraid to offend their friend, such offense rising from one person trying to 'force' the other to do certain things. I say 'force' because they usually don't mean it that way, but are afraid of having their intentions come off that way. People are afraid to ruin their good relationship, a fear driven by not know what their friends reaction might be. So is it fear?

Despite any fear, such a person would continue to have a desire to talk to their friend about religion or making 'better' decisions. This desire (I think) is driven partialy by guilt. They feel guilty that by saying/doing nothing they aren't fulfilling their belief or duty to their religion and thence they feel guilty toward their religion/belief for such betrayal. A second reason for their desire could be because of their sincere belief in this religion, not so much guilt for not sharing, but a robotic programmatic response ('zombie' like you might say) that zealots of certain religions obtain through complete devotion to their religion.

Another (related) reason for their desire could be out of genuine concern/love for their friend. For me, there are a few things in this world that I love above everything else, and I love them because they fill me with joy and make this life worth living. First is the gospel of Jesus Christ (and ever family, friend, truth thing pertaining thereunto). Second is skiing. Finally is Apple computers (awesome technology in general). For me, the joy that I get from these three is enough to cause me to want to share these things with my best friend. When I love someone I want to share with them my greatest joys so they too can be joyful. I am please to report that my current direct link converts (those I've converted, not converts of converts) to skiing number around six, and to Apple around five :-) (Having spent two years doing nothing but 'converting' people to the gospel, my number there significantly higher). The point being that wanting to share joy is a valid reason for having a desire to share religion with your friends.

It goes on in an eternal balance your desire to share counter balanced with your fear of their unknown reaction. And I think for myself the only way to resolve this dilemma comes in the form of a question: Would I still be friends with them if I knew that in the end they would never join the church? Regardless of the fact that we cannot predict the future, lets assume we can, and say that the future says that friend will never share the same beliefs or live the same standards as said person, are you still friends with them?

For one friend of mine, she was never a member of my church, she never shared standards, though she was an overall 'good person'. I do not fear offending her because our relationship was never based in the church. Another friend I made in Washington was in my ward there. Since our parting he has left the church, and I have little desire to see him again, simply because our original connection no longer exists. Finally the friend who sparked this train of thoughts, though our original connection was through the church, or friendship developed over a long period of time and transcended, religion, age, or sexual preference.... Some friends really are forever.

If you read all of that, I'm impressed, if you feel like you just wasted ten minutes of your life please let me know and I'll do my best to get it back to you ;-)

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