Dance, Dance

So I failed. :-( I can't say it was the saddest day of my life, but it was still extraordinarily sad. Did I really have a chance to win? maybe not, but I sure felt that I didn't go as far as I could have. Today was BYU's DanceSport competition (and for those of you who know me, competition is my middle name) and I was all over the Cha-Cha and even tried my hand (or feet...) at Swing. I was felling great, having fun, but got cut after the fourth and first rounds (of cha-cha and swing, respectively). It wasn't a big deal, I don't mind not winning, I'm not a dance major, nor do I ever plan to be, but I do like dancing. It really shouldn't matter that I got cut so early... but it did.

Going in to this competition I was ready to win, it was in my head, I had visioned it, winning, what a champion-like thing to do, no? My dance partner was amazing, she *is* a dance major (er... minor actually) and she is a wonderful dancer. She got called back in all of her events (6 of them) except the ones where I danced with her.... see a connection? I feel bad that I lost, but even worse that I made her lose. Sure it wasn't entirely my fault, but I feel bad that I wasn't able to do better. She sure helped me a lot, gave me pointers and practiced often. I really feel like I've improved in my dancing, even just today I felt like I learned a lot from her as we would wait backstage and she would tell me over and over again about keeping my posture up, about planting my feet, about looking up, making it snappy, starting quickly, making it dramatic..... I learned SOOOO much today, and I loved dancing, even for the short while that we did. However deep inside of me it feels like I'm wretchedly angry at myself for falling short, and truthfully I feel like crying, but I can't... there's still life to life, so I'll do that.